” I don’t understand why she doesn’t seem to care” Thank you and have a great weekend!

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Hello? Are you there? Were you not paying attention or are you just an asshole with an attitude?  The title above is a sentence taken from an email sent to me, my husband his ex-wife regarding the 12-year-old, his student.  Where can I begin this post without using all the profanity I know?  As I have mentioned in earlier posts my step daughter is ADHD and needs a little encouragement from time to time.  She is a great kid, but her focus and concentration are AWOL.  Teachers  need more education regarding ADHD. It affects the executive function of the brain so yeah she will space off!  She will be disorganized and seem as if she doesn’t care.  So we all had a meeting with the teachers at the beginning of the year to address this issue and to submit to the school the report from the pediatric neurologist.  The doc wrote specific things that teachers can do to help her out.  Such as coming around and gently reminding her to stay on track, bring her back to reality or remind her that she can redo a test to get a better grade. I realize that burdening teachers with modifications specific to each ADHD kid is ridiculous thinking on the parents part. I get it. But sending an email saying that this kid seemingly wants to fail or that she stared at her paper because she doesn’t care is asinine!  I think he wasn’t paying attention at the parent teacher conference because his email sure does make you think he wasn’t.

So I should have a great weekend and talk to my kid on how to better get her on track and what all this means to her math class. Excuse me asshole did you not get any of my emails?  The ones that inform you and tell you that she is ADHD and that we need some accommodation for her.  Or the ones in which I have specifically asked about extra credit or redo’s for better grades.  Every fucking thing he addressed in his email is something we warned might happen because she is ADHD.  She is reading in class?  What is she reading?  Is she reading the directions or staring at her paper not knowing what to do?  Or is she reading some Zombie book she checked out from the library?  CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC!!!  Is she being defiant or just quiet?  Sure does help when addressing the issue with her as you requested!

I don’t know about you but I as an ADHD person myself can see how this fucking moron is probably making her feel.  She is probably withdrawing and staying quiet so he doesn’t notice her and single her out in class as to what a kid should not be doing in his class.  I am not making excuses for students with disabilities.  I believe 100% that a child needs to work on his limitations and make themselves a routine that can help them with school, at least at 12 years old.  They should be participating in their “accommodations” and moving forward.  But, there is accommodation for a reason and mandatory for that matter.  So get your head out of your ass and be a good teacher.

We are born inquisitive and with the inherent need to learn. It is inevitable.  So before you say kids are lazy try and understand how they feel when they KNOW they are failing and don’t know how to progress.  But when you give someone a lesson in a language that is not native or known to them you are bound to have disinterested people.  ADHD is like that.  I want to do it but your math worksheets are in another language and there is no one willing to sit down with me, take their time to explain it and help me with it so I can feel like I can do it.  No one want to fail for the sake of failing.  NO ONE!

Afterthought:  Please don’t be offended if you are a teacher this is only me venting to one specific teacher not all teachers as a whole. I don’t believe in judgement of others as a group.

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Courage

This past Christmas I turned 45. Age is just a number to me now, mostly because it’s how I feel that determines my view on age. Besides, I couldn’t tell you how any age feels beyond my 45 years and 21 days. What I know for certain, is that age is all about you and how you view life.

I was hoping this year was better than the last 5 years, but now I am not sure. Two days ago I was very discouraged with everything. I always preach that you just have to make yourself do what needs to be done and that’s that. I told myself that last night, but as I started to think about all the changes I need to make I was overwhelmed to say the least. I of course have the “standard” goals for the year just like every one does. I need to go to the gym, eat better and love more. But what is hard is knowing that my life and the goals I set are not at all up to me. Some would say they are, but I don’t see how. I have a wonderful husband whom I adore with all my heart and a beautiful daughter and step daughter. The thing is my daughter suffers from bipolar disorder and my step daughter is ADHD. I am overwhelmed at times. My daughter is 23 and a great being but the impulsive and reckless nature of the disorder can really be devastating, not only for the family but for her. My step daughter is 12 and a very creative girl who is very intelligent but her grades would have you believe something else. I adore her father and to tell you the truth he is a God send. Imagine having not only the same things in common but also being able to help each other through raising our daughters without reproach. When couples with children re marry the one thing that is most difficult is being able to relate to the others child. Aside from being the natural parents, you don’t see it much and I am lucky to have that with him. It not only helps us but makes out relationship stronger.

I will leave you all with this. Always tell yourself that life is only what you make of it and that is no joke. Instead of looking at things and trying to change them stop and reflect on what you can live with under the circumstances. It is the only way to step back and breath. This is one of my goals this year. What can I truly live with and what do I need to work on. This includes my job as a mother and a wife. It is something small to look forward to when it seems like there is nothing to look forward to.

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